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Gabe’s Top Signs Spring is Here

Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Yesterday was the first day of spring so let’s check out the Top Signs Spring Has Arrived.

Donald Trump replaced his hair with fake Easter basket grass.

Lady Gaga’s egg is painted.

You’ve almost finished puking green beer.

You have more daylight to go outside and breathe in Japanese radiation.

All your gay buddies have started their countdown to “Thor”.

The background in Osama Bin Laden’s latest video looks suspiciously like Lake Havasu.

Muammar Gaddafi’s wearing a festive Hawaiian shirt while “accidentally” firebombing some peaceful protestors.

Hillary Clinton is cutting off the bottoms of her pantsuits for maximum cankle-cooling.

God and Rush Limbaugh start deciding who to punish this hurricane season.

Mexican families are asking Wal-Mart workers where they keep the T-shirts that are specially designed for swimming.

Lindsay Lohan is shoplifting SPF 9,000 sun block.

President Obama returns from winter vacation . . . and starts packing for spring break.

Everywhere you look, animals are mating. Particularly if you look at my browser history.

Remember all those leaves you didn’t feel like raking last fall? Yeah, they didn’t go anywhere.

Remember all that dog crap you didn’t feel like picking up last fall? Yeah, it didn’t go anywhere, either.

Just like every spring for the next 4,000 years, we’re sending more troops to the Middle East.

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