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Kate Upton Gets Soapy in Mercedes’ 2013 Super Bowl Commercial Teaser

Mercedes Benz has graced us with not one, but four teasers for their Super Bowl production. All we know is to expect something sinister, mysterious and hot enough to break dishes and ruin a little girl's ice cream, all set to the Rolling Stones' 'Sympathy For the Devil.' Oh, and a teaser featuring Kate Upton lets us know she'll be washing a car in slow motion. No explanation needed there, really.

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Kate Upton Cosmo Shoot
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Behind the Scenes of Kate Upton’s New Cosmo Photo Shoot [VIDEO]

Let's face it. Kate Upton is everywhere. And where most normal humans would run the risk of overexposure...Kate can never expose quite enough to make me happy. Seriously. I would fap to Kate fileting a carp on the cover of Field & Stream.

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kate upton
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A Day With Kate Upton [NSFW VIDEO]

Hypothetical situation: It's your lucky day - the Gods are smiling on you, and they've given you an entire day with Kate Upton. What do you do? You too?!?!?!

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99X Salutes Kate Upton’s New 4th of July Photo Shoot [VIDEO]

 

Kate Upton turned 20 last week, and 99X celebrated the only way we knew how: ogling her sexy performances in several videos. Now, ESPN is reporting that Upton just wrapped a special 4th of July photo shoot for GQ. While we may not be gentlemanly enough to read the magazine, we're perfectly fine with watching the following behind-the-scenes video tease of her working over and over...and over.

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Time to Give a 99X Salute to Kate Upton on Her 20th Birthday! [VIDEO]

What can we say? We LOVE Kate Upton here at 99X. So, to celebrate her no longer being a teenager (sad face), we are going to ogle her half naked body and give her a standing birthday salute. Just make sure you have some tissues handy, I don't want you to ruin your keyboard (Ha! I said "handy")

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Maxim Hires Stevie Wonder to Judge 2012 Hot 100 [PHOTOS, VIDEO]

Okay. Maybe I exaggerated. A little. Really, Maxim? Really? You expect me to believe that you found 38 women that are more hot than Kate Upton? 38? After taking a look at your 2012 Hot 100, I have to believe that payola or seeing eye dogs have to be involved in this farce of feminine hottness.

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Kate Upton iPad Teaser
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Kate Upton Cuts Off Top in New iPad Teaser [VIDEO]

Even if she didn't cut off the top, the thought alone could get me through two boxes of Kleenex.  But, she does.  Excuse me.  I'm having a moment.

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Kate Upton, and Kate Upton’s Boobs, Were On SNL

Kate Upton, and Kate Upton’s boobs, were special guests on Saturday Night Live last night in a skit about a special ‘President’s Day’ episode of ‘What Up With That?’ Bill O’Reilly also appeared in the skit with Upton

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Are You Up To The Kate Upton Challenge? [VIDEO]

It's like the Tootsie Pop test, only better.  How long can you look at Kate Upton without the urge to dive into a serious bout of self molestation?  Only those with the ultimate mastery of their domain can make it through ten minutes plus...My record's about a minute five...

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Can’t Get Enough of Kate Upton? Me Either! [VIDEO]

When I think of Kate Upton...I think of drinking her bathwater through a straw.  All of it.  At one time.  Then burping.  Loudly.  To drown out the sound of mad fapping.  For your enjoyment, the video from Kate's Sports Illustrated photo shoot.  Bathwater not included.  You're welcome.

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Kate Upton – A 99X Valentine’s Day Card For You [PHOTOS]

Face it.  It's the day before Valentine's Day.  If you're not married, in a relationship, or have a regular booty call - you ain't getting lucky tomorrow.  Thankfully, you've are a black belt in fapping, and we're providing the motivation with the following gallery of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Kate Upton.  Happy Valentine's Day.  Loser.

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Kate Upton
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Kate Upton in a Bikini – Tough to Beat in a Staring Contest [VIDEO]

While Kate Upton is certainly pretty enough for a fellow to get lost in her eyes, she also has certain below-the-neck attributes that make steady eye contact tricky.

In this ad for Sobe, the swimsuit model uses her famous assets to quickly dispatch of a hapless opponent in a staring contest.

Check it out below, and see if you can keep your eyes up.

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