Space….the Final Place to Get Drunk as Hell
As mankind takes it’s next step into space exploration, we realize that we are missing one crucial element….space beer. This morning an article was released stating that two Australian companies have created this new addition in the world of alcoholic beverages. Next year, the space tourism industry is preparing to takeoff so Saber Astronautics Australia has teamed up with the Four Pines Brewery to create the first beer that can be consumed safely in space.
So let’s back up and take a broader look into what we have here. A private company is launching a commercial flight into space filled with ordinary citizens who are not trained astronauts and the the plan is to get drunk while doing it. What in the hell?????? Instead of capitalizing on a brand new business venture that we have only seen in Sci-Fi movies or conducting scientific research or exploration, we plan on getting drunk on space beer. Now they did say that the reason a beer was created to be drunk in space is because the tongue swells and the senses dull so the beer is quite flavorful but at the same time, why would this thought even cross one’s mind? Is it because in the last 50 years of NASA we’ve proven time and time again that nothing can go wrong in space? Is it because space is a miraculous flaw free zone and it’s only upon entering the Earth’s atmosphere that chaos and disaster occur? I’m hoping by now you’ve picked up on my sarcasm. Speaking from personal testimony, I can tell you that there have been times where I may have been slightly intoxicated and I might have accidentally put the truck into the wrong gear and taken out a port-o-potty in a Wendy’s parking lot (which that smell will haunt my dreams forever) so God knows what some drunk guy might do in space. I have yet to find any tangible reason for someone to come up with space beer but I thought that “Jersey Shore” would go away after one season due to the fact that it’s poisoning the minds of Americans but here I stand wrong. So maybe this will be the next great thing. Time and awesome Youtube videos will tell.