Contact Us

Shark Week Drinking Games

baffledlens via flickr

Do you love Shark Week? (watch link for the aftermath of a good shark week)  Do you love drinking? Then this is a must read for you.

Every year, something so phenomenal happens that we will literally drop whatever it is we have going on and watch nature’s perfect killing machine fly out of the water at a thousand miles per hour and eat defenseless seals. Well what better way to celebrate this then by drinking your ass off with fun games that will literally make you destroy the vast majority of your brain cells. Here are the rules to the shark week drinking game.

The Rules

… Every time some random dude is referred to as a “shark expert,” drink and declare yourself a “drinking expert.”

… When the “Air Jaws” Great White Sharks are captured flying out of the water, start drinking. Don’t stop until they are all the way back in the water. The last thing you should remember is the narrator bragging something about “super slow-motion 2,000 frames-per-second” and the sound of an ambulance siren.

… Every time a shark is referred to as “nature’s perfect killing machine” or some iteration thereof, take a healthy sip, high-five your friend, and remind him that you “nature’s perfect high-fiving machine.”

… Every time they show one of those wussy Nurse Sharks that don’t eat people, change the channel.

… Every time you are reminded that sharks need to be protected and are an important part of the fragile ecosystem and any other hippie crap, take a drink of green tea… that’s spiked with Jaeger.

… Every time you hear someone with an Australian accent, pound a Foster’s. It’s Australian for Budweiser, mate! (Warning: three cases of Foster’s might not be enough.)

… Every time you see a Whale Shark, kindly inform those in the room with you that a Whale Shark can reach lengths of more than 40 feet and weigh more than 36 tons; is the world’s biggest fish; is the only member of the Rhincodon genus; and prefers the warm waters along the Equator. Wait for your friends to tell you to shut up and stop quoting Wikipedia, then drink.

… Every time they mention the movie Jaws, finish your beverage and scream, “We’re going to need a bigger drink!”

…Every time a seal dies….Drink.

… Every time you wonder why you’ve been watching Shark Week for the last few hours, shut up and watch more Shark Week because it’s awesome! Oh, and drink!

… And finally, every time you see a shark, drink.

More from 99X

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://therockstation99x.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on The Rock Station 99X quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Register on The Rock Station 99X quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!