Thanksgiving is a stressful day full of overbearing family members, loud kids and way too much cooking. But that doesn't mean you can't have a little dirty fun when no one is looking.

Here are some sexy cooking instructions for one of my favorite Thanksgiving dishes: S&Mashed potatoes.

Place your rock-hard, large potatoes in a pot of salted water and bring to an erotic boil. Reduce the heat to a low-seduction simmer and cook them for 12 to 15 minutes until lickable and fork tender.

Remove the pan from the smoldering heat and drain the wetness. Place the potatoes back in the pot and return to the heat.

Stir the potatoes over (and over and over) for two to three minutes to dehydrate them. Then, remove the potatoes from the sizzling heat.

Using a hand-held masher or any other toy kitchen tool, thrust the slippery butter into the warm potatoes. Don't be afraid to get messy while cooking. In fact, I strongly recommend it, as it gives your lover something to lick off.

Add enough mouth-watering cream (mmm, cream) until the desired sensuous velvety smoothness is achieved.

The luscious potatoes should still be sort of lumpy, but that's OK. Season the tantalizing potatoes with salt, pepper and a little Dirty Diva.

Make sure to print out this page with the button below so you can keep this decadent and intoxicating recipe in your bulging pocket the next time you're cooking (or feeling lonely).