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‘You Got What Stuck Where?!?!?’ A Look Back At The Weirdness of 2012

It certainly has been an interesting year. We’ve had 2 tragically disappointing Apocalypses, several Celebrity trainwrecks, and all kind of other insanity.

However, the thing that blew me away the most this year is the weird things people put into their cavities. No, seriously. If there is a hole on the body, people this year have stuffed it with some pretty amazing stuff.

The Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And you know we can’t have the power to search all this stuff without investigating what got stuck in the butt this year. Below is a list of my favorite orifice stuffers, feel free to tell me yours!

Ear:
KEY
BUTTON
HOT WAX
PLASTIC DART
PIECE OF PAPER
“TOOTHPICK AND THEN HAIRPIN”
WOOD
SCREWDRIVER
PLASTIC DRINKING STRAW
ERASER
FLY
RUBBER BAND
KNIFE

Nose:
DIXIE CUP
HAIR BARRETT
“TWO KITCHEN MAGNETS IN EACH NOSTRIL”
COLORING PENCIL
NICKEL
WAD OF TOILET TISSUE
MARDI GRAS BEAD
SMALL TOY
PIECE OF PLASTIC HANGER
PICK-UP STICK
BB PELLETS
SCREW
STICKER
CRUCIFIX
BATTERY
TOY DIAMOND

Throat:
LEMON SEED
MAXI PAD
CHECKER
THIMBLE
THUMBTACK
BUTTERFLY
PLASTIC TOY GUN
STAPLE
KEYCHAIN RING
NAIL
MODEL TOY AIRPLANE

Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
“PIECE OF TIMBER”
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP

Vagina:
BEDPOST
“WAS DARED TO PUT A COSMETICS BOTTLE IN VAGINA”
TOY MICROPHONE STAND
SPOON
“C___ RING THAT BECAME DISLODGED”
METAL BAR
2 SPONGES
PIECE OF BASKETBALL SHORTS
SEWING NEEDLES
TOY TRUCK
HAIRSPRAY CAP
TUB STOPPER

Rectum:
FRENCH BREAD
HAND WRENCH
CIGARETTE LIGHTER
VIAL OF BATH SALTS
ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH
DRUM STICK
VINEGAR BOTTLE
LOTION BOTTLE
BABY BOTTLE
“LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED”

 

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