For years now, I've been trying to figure why the "actresses" in tampon commercials were always happy. Now, thanks to medical science, we know why...they were completely and utterly hammered.

Apparently, nobody uses their mouth to consume alcohol anymore, they turn to more exotic methods to get their buzz on.

Ladies are now soaking their tampons in vodka before "putting them to use" to get what doctors call a "quicker high, that lasts longer, is more intense." Now it's not all fun and games on the vagina front because doctors warn that participating in this activity will completely and utterly "destroy the vagina." This explains a lot about Courtney Love's lady parts.

Now, guys don't feel left out, there is a new fad for you too. It's called butt chugging. Which is exactly what it sounds like; a dude grabs a beer funnel, jams it into is his ass and funnels booze directly into his rectum ala Stevo in Jackass Part II.

My assessment of this situation is quite simple, A) I like vagina even more now and B) It kinda brings new meaning to getting sh**faced.