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You drive to work on roads filled with distracted idiots. You walk in past the smokers and inhale their second-hand smoke. You eat a high-fat breakfast. You look at the ceiling tiles and realize they're still packed with asbestos. And after all that . . . you still haven't encountered the most life-threatening part of your day.

When you're talking with someone on the phone, and suddenly it sounds a little more echo-y on their end, do you think . . . did they just go into the bathroom? Well . . . you should.In a new survey, 56% of Americans admitted to using their cell phones in the bathroom...

I always wanted To have someone to hold, Someone to love. (inside card) After meeting you ... I changed my mind.

BILLY CRYSTAL, HELEN MIRREN, and ROB REINER just did a parody about a "When Harry Met Sally" sequel for FunnyOrDie.com.It starts with Crystal and Reiner meeting studio executives, and the head executive loves the idea . . . even though it includes Sally's character being dead...

Saddest song in the worldYou've all seen the commercial with the dogs and the cats looking insanely sad and they play that song about Angels in the background.

Yesterday I mentioned that a British man and woman, went out on a blind date,and discovered an hour into it that they were actually brother and sister. This brings us to today's list of the Top Signs You're on a Bad Date.

You know that old catchphrase that men think about sex every seven seconds? According to a new survey, men are a LOT less perverted than that. I mean . . . it's not even close.

In honor of Opening Day in Major League Baseball, check out the Top Baseball Fun Facts.

Workers at the Bronx Zoo still can't find a giant cobra that escaped from their reptile house . . . (pause) . . . Here are the Top Signs You're at a Really Bad Zoo.

This video is of a young Mary Kate and Ashley and as you can see by the clip, they weren't so innocent as kids either.Mary Kate and Ashley are Racist

On a morning news show in Youngstown, Ohio, a woman named Nancy from a local grocery chain was trying to explain that biscotti goes great with coffee.