I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this . . . but your grandma has been hooking up with a bunch of dirtbags. Just 'cause a guy is good at shuffleboard and has both of his original hips doesn't mean he's going to treat her right.
It's a great day for everyone out there who's ever stubbed their toe or bumped their knee . . . then let a bunch of swear words fly no matter how many women, children, nuns, and FCC employees were around. You were on to something.