Redneck Cousins Make Lousy Lovers…

This a story that we hear all to often...boy meets girl, boy tries to pick up girl, girl becomes irate when boy tries to make her a booty call and then girl stabs boy with a pair of scissors. This is an age old tale. But this time around it has a bit of southern flair to it and a dash of Everclear. Time to cue up some banjo music.

First cousins Erica Wilson, 21, and Jesse Brooks, 32, were arrested and charged with aggravated domestic assault following a brawl in Brooks’s Tennessee home.

Wilson told a sheriff’s deputy that she and Brooks had “gotten into an argument about the status” of their relationship. It was during the argument, Wilson reported, that Brooks “began to touch her suggestively and stated that ‘he wanted her.’" In response, Wilson told her cousin that she “wanted a relationship and did not want to be 'A Booty Call.'”

This when all hell broke loose. The cousins began beating and banging on each other and finally Wilson pulled out a pair of scissors and slashed away at her cousin’s face, neck, arms, and back.

An investigator noted that Wilson and Brooks, who smelled of booze, admitted to consuming significant amounts of Everclear grain alcohol. Since a “primary aggressor” could not be determined, both cousins were arrested.

Wilson, a Taco Bell employee, bonded out of jail yesterday after posting $4000 bond. Her cousin remains locked up in the county jail in lieu of $4000 bond. Both are set to be arraigned in Sessions Court later this month.

See, this is why I keep my ass out of Taco Bell, Tennessee, and Trailer Parks.