People Go Nuts Over Fried Turkey Testicles
As guys, we’ll eat almost anything. Brew us up some cat poop coffee, toss us a stuffed cone pizza explosion; we can handle it. There is one thing we’re a little weary to try, though — mostly because it’s a male issue at hand — deep fried turkey testicles.
Every Thanksgiving, these ‘hot nuts’ are available in Huntley, Illinois to the thousands who flock to the town’s Turkey Testicle Festival. The event is exactly what it sounds like: 1,200 pounds of bird balls are shipped to the location, and they’re breaded and deep fried and served as a tasty testicle snack.
Word on the street is that they taste a little like burned chicken, but that’s apparently because of the frying process. They’re pretty tasteless otherwise, so testicle-eating experts suggest pairing the poultry sack packs with Tobasco sauce or ranch dressing. We’re also wondering how exactly the ‘experts’ know that they’re tasteless — what the hell would lead someone to pop a tasteless, raw bird ball in one’s mouth?
While we’re not huge fans of chewing on male nuggets to pass the time, we did learn one thing: dab a little ranch on a pair of balls, and the ladies of Huntley will go nuts.