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New Survey Finds Louisianans Do Not Last Very Long During Sex

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Blind Melon’s late vocalist Shannon Hoon once said that Louisianans could whip a cat’s ass from Indiana like that (snapping his fingers.) While that may be true, a new survey suggests they finish in bed just as quick.

According to statistics compiled from Spreadsheets, a mobile app that helps people record the length of their sexual encounters, Louisiana couples are only bumping uglies an average of just over two minutes. No wonder there is so much witchcraft and voodoo down on the Bayou – women are sexually frustrated, and it appears they have plenty of time on their hands.

New Mexico fared the best in this survey, with the state’s organ grinders taking an average of over seven minutes to do the deed. On the other end of the spectrum, Alaska ranked the worst, with residents knocking Eskimo boots for less than a minute and a half.

However, in Alaska’s defense… things have a tendency to shrink when introduced to cold climates. Plus, no one wants to risk getting frostbite on their yam-yams. Unfortunately, we still cannot come up with an excuse for Louisiana. Afraid of gator attacks?

1. New Mexico – (7:01)

2. West Virginia – (5:38)

3. Idaho – (5:11)

4. South Carolina – (4:48)

5. Missouri – (4:22)

6. Michigan -(4:14)

7. Utah – (3:55)

8. Oregon – (3:51)

9. Nebraska – (3:47)

10. Alabama – (3:38)

11. Delaware – (3:33)

12. Hawaii – (3:28)

13. Wisconsin – (3:22)

14. North Dakota – (3:18)

15. Arizona – (3:17)

16. Maryland – (3:15)

17. Mississippi – (3:10)

18. Rhode Island – (3:09)

19. Connecticut – (3:07)

20. Texas – (3:06)

21. New Hampshire – (3:04)

22. Wyoming – (3:03)

23. New York – (3:01)

24. Pennsylvania – (2:58)

25. Maine – (2:58)

26. Washington – (2:51)

27. Iowa – (2:50)

28. Illinois – (2:49)

29. North Carolina – (2:47)

30. Tennessee – (2:46)

31. Kansas – (2:38)

32. California – (2:38)

33. Massachusetts – (2:31)

34. Florida – (2:29)

35. New Jersey – (2:28)

36. Indiana – (2:26)

37. Virginia – (2:23)

38. Oklahoma – (2:21)

39. Colorado – (2:21)

40. Minnesota – (2:19)

41. Ohio – (2:18)

42. Louisiana – (2:17)

43. Kentucky – (2:14)

44. Arkansas – (2:08)

45. District of Columbia – (2:08)

46. Nevada – (2:07)

47. Georgia – (2:07)

48. Montana – (2:03)

49. Vermont – (1:48)

50. South Dakota – (1:30)

51. Alaska – (1:21)

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