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Limericks For Your St. Patrick’s Day

“There once was a girl from Nantucket” and other utterances that started off chains of filthy funny rhymes have long been the custom of St. Patty’s shouted and whispered in pubs and bars the world over. This site has a ton of limericks to commit to memory, recite at your local watering hole, then drink enough to forget again.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The lasses and laddies over at dailydirtylimerick.com have a ton of rhyming fun all over their site. If you haven’t heard of the Dentist Malone or Sir Reginald Von Hubble of Joice, then just scroll down through a few of these gems.

There was a young dentist Malone
who had a charming girl patient alone.
But in his depravity
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!

Sir Reginald Von Hubble of Joice
Did shave his balls-’twas his choice.
He sneezed,oh how sad!
The results were quite bad!
He now has a high pitched voice!!!

The last time I dined with the King
He did quite a curious thing.
He sat on a stool
And took out his tool
And said, “If I play will you sing?”

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I’ll get my workouts,” he said,
“At home, in my bed,
‘Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!”

In the check out at the food store
a nun was advising the poor:
“Hey you up in front!
That’s to many items you cunt!
And they won’t take food stamps for beer ya dumb whore.”

She asked him “Please don’t ever quit,”
As he sucked on her supple left tit,
And with talented mouth,
He headed down south,
And finished her lickety split.

There once was a man from Madras
with balls made of flint and brass
On his wife he was rocking
And his balls were a knocking
and lightning shot out of his ass.

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