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Kim is Dead?!?!? Say It Isn’t So!!! [VIDEO]

Kim Kardashian

I still can’t believe that Kim is dead.  It happened so suddenly.  I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t a big fan.  I love a big booty as much as the next guy, but that sex tape could have been so much better.  And that ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians‘ crap….c’mon.  But still, she was much too young to die….

What?!?!?  Not that Kim?!?!?  Kim Jong-Il is dead?!?!?! Really???  Well, thank God you caught me…I’d hate to think that I caused another one of those Jon Bon Jovi type hoaxes!!

Kim Jong-Il

Kim Jong-Il, huh?  The little ironfisted nutjob dictator of Noth Korea…Back in ’06 he was the man. He detonated a low yield nuclear weapon off the coast of North Korea. How crazy is that? Plenty crazy. That’s sniffing airplane glue, huddled in the corner of a rat infested basement writing cryptic Greek messages on the wall and screaming about ants and Wilfred Brimley crazy. 2 years ago everyone was talking about him and his sweet nuclear stuff, but no one cares about him much anymore.  I don’t think I’ll miss him nearly as much as I would Kim Kardashian.  I don’t think he ever made even a half-assed porn.  At least I hope he didn’t.  I just threw up a little in my mouth.  But I digress…last night the Korean media released a statement saying that Jong-Il had died Saturday.  He was 69.

A black-clad anchorwoman choked back tears as she reported “our people and nation’s biggest sadness.”  She said an autopsy had “fully confirmed” a diagnosis that Kim died of a heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain” during a “high intensity field inspection.”

I think it would have been funnier if she had said “he died as a result of a tragic fall from his elevator shoes. “  No humor at all, those North Koreans.  And Jong-Il was the chairman of the “no-fun club”.  But he sure was fun to make fun of.  As evidence, may I present exhibits A-E?

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