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Gabe’s Top List- Top Things Hugh Hefner Worries About

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

His fiancée might be cheating on him with Dr. Phil’s son, but it turns out that’s not the only thing causing the old playboy concern. Check out the Top Things Hugh Hefner Worries About.

Avoiding light-colored silk pajama bottoms that easily show pee stains.

Becoming a parody of himself. Oops. Too late.

Not finding a bleach strong enough to rid his house of that lingering old people stench.

Not finding anyone who wants to play badminton against him and the Grim Reaper.

Walking within 100 yards of the grotto without getting Syphilis.

Brushing his teeth, then forgetting to put them back in his mouth.

Getting into another argument with that surly mailbox on the corner.

People learning how to use those new-fangled computer thingies to look at naked broads for free.

That one-day, bimbos’ morals will become immune to money.

Not having any nude pictures of Liz Taylor in order to capitalize on her death.

Drooling when he’s NOT surrounded by naked women.

Girls defecting from the Playboy Mansion to Charlie Sheen’s Sober Valley Lodge.

People realizing how boring “Playboy” actually is.

Getting stuck in another annoying conversation with Bill Maher.

Knowing that he next time he gets “stiff” it’ll likely be because of rigor mortis.

Realizing that he has liver spots older than his fiancée.

The world finding out that all those women just slept with him for the money.

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