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Fox News Bashes Star Wars & Star Wars Fans [VIDEO]

What. The. Hell.

Look, Fox News is terrible, everyone with a brain can admit that. They say some CRAZY stuff on a daily basis, and even the people who like it know deep down that it’s crap. Its kind of like pro-wrestling (calm your pitchforks, I’m a wrestling fan) in the sense that it you have to fully suspend disbelief in the story lines to suffer through it.

But this is TOO far. Using terms like “…not only is it over-rated, it’s over-saturated” and “Because of freaks like (co-host) who will go onto Fandango and buy it two months in advance, and then it will ruin the experience for you and me, who are normal” goes to further my assertion that these people are brain-dead. 

The guy they drag in to defend the franchise can’t even mount a defense, because he seems like the kind of guy who tries to turn doorknobs with his mouth, uses the most obscure rational. When asked why its good, he rambles about the struggle of (good vs. evil) which the balloon head next to him points out is pretty much every movie. Then he throws out that JJ Abrams is at the helm, and pulls out the most obscure reference, pointing out that he was one of the 9 writers on Armageddon. 

Abrams is responsible for epics like Lost, Super 8, and Cloverfield…and dude brings up Armageddon like he did a quick Wiki search in the commercial break and took the alphabetical first off-ramp. 

They throw out that ‘Darth Vader is dead” like they’ve seen an advanced screening, which the ‘Star Wars expert’ they have on responds to with “there’s new bad people”.  Wait, what?

“New bad people”? I could wake up my 8-year-old at 3am and scream at him “WHO’S THE VILLAIN IN THE NEW STAR WARS FILM!?!?!?” like he’s in week 4 at Gitmo, and he’d be able to cry out “Kylo Ren” in fear in a more convincing way than this wafer-crisp of a man they’ve tried to prop up as an expert. I doubt this doucherocket has ever watched a Star Wars movie from start to finish without playing Candy Crush on his phone during what he calls the ‘boring parts’. 

This sophomore-hair-cut-with-a-voice-box follows it up with a quip about thinking Harrison Ford was dead. Which isn’t even funny, anywhere, ever. Before we bring the stupid home with the bean-pole homewrecker dropping a ‘I’m trendy cause I saw a Tweet” bomb that she stumbles ALL OVER. Something about a guy not needing a girlfriend because Star Wars. 

Let me break this down real quick.

Cracked-out Sweet Dee fumbles around with how many Tweets were posted in a time frame about the movie, which she can’t lock down a number or time frame on, before moving to the anecdote she claims to have read. My first reaction is how were you able to turn an electronic? Then I’m wondering why someone who claims to not care about Star Wars is following what people are Tweeting about Star Wars hard enough to find these Tweets? Answer to both, is she’s lying. She wasn’t looking for that on Twitter, she was cropping drunk ex frat boys out of her new Tinder profile pic.

I really want to continue to verbally murder these trolls over their takes on the color of light sabers, and the fact the she-beast keeps licking her gigantic bear trap of a mouth like LL Cool J, but I want to point out the real hero of this video instead.

Did you see the guy in the background? Out the window? He’s the real MVP here. Dude is the most legit journalist and/or broadcasters in this whole video. He can feel the dumbness in the Force emanating from within that studio, and he’s trying to see what the hell these idiots are conjuring up now.


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