My girlfriend is really big on real-life crime shows, especially the ones about scorned lovers (Lord help me) like 'Who the F#&k Did I Marry?' and 'Deadly Women.' But in all the episodes I've been forced to watch, I've never seen a murder plot quite like this.

A Brazilian woman was arrested for attempting to kill her husband by poisoning her vagina.

She allegedly rubbed a poisonous substance around her wet weasel and then lured him into bed. He was eager to go diving into her pleasure chest, but before any damage was done he got a whiff of something fishy; she smelled funny down there.

The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

Moral of the story: Guys, be careful before you kiss her where it smells funny!