Contact Us

Dead Man Impregnates Woman – Made To Order Zombies?

dead man

When The Rolling Stones said , “You, you make a dead man come (sic),” I don’t think this is what they had in mind.    A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients.  A dead client.  Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke – of the Mourning Glory Mortuary outside of Lexington, Missouri  – with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.

According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged ‘victim’  experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed.  After observing said ‘dead wood’, the obviously lonely and strangely perverted  Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded have sex with him.  (Note:  Is this even fair?  A dead guy can get laid, but Puff still goes home alone every weekend).

Much to her surprise, the alleged victim came to orgasm after several minutes.  Even more surprising, a few weeks later, while receiving a routine medical exam, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test .

Mistake #1) Molesting a corpse.
Mistake #2) Not using protection and/or birth control while molesting a corpse
Mistake #3) telling hre doctor how she became pregnant

The police were notified,  and Marmaduke was arrested  at her dilapidated trailer home  home a few blocks from the mortuary.   (Surprise!  She lives in a trailer!  No word on whether the trailer also served as a meth lab.  I’m betting on  ‘YES’. Don’t look at me like that…this did happen in Missouri, the meth lab capital of the USA)

In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support.  And $75 for services rendered.  Okay, I made that last part up, but would it surprise you?  No?  I didn’t think so.
Do you believe that any of this could really happen?  Me either.  But who am I to dispute the validity of the internet?  No one.  That’s who…

Best of The Rock Station 99X

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for The Cockpit quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive The Cockpit contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.