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Stupid Criminals

Stupid Criminals

drunk_driver
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Tip of the Day: Don’t Drive Drunk (Especially When Carrying The Bar Tab in Your Pocket) [VIDEO]

We here at 99X don't condone drunk driving. It's just dumb. You can go to jail, loose your license, pay an assload of money to the authorities...and more importantly, you could seriously hurt yourself or someone else

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blow
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Crack Really Does Kill! [VIDEO]

When we hear those old wives tales like "If you masturbate, you'll go blind", we generally pay them no mind because we think they are BS. And most of them probably are. However, the saying "Crack Kills" can now being taken literally

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Guinness shoplifter
youtube
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Woman Steals Case of Guinness With Her, Uh, Hoo Hah [VIDEO]

I remember when I was a mere juvenile delinquent...watching a friend shoplift a Playboy from the shelf of a local drug store.  It seemed like a lot of trouble.  Casing the joint to make sure no one was watching.  Turning his back to the store's video surveillance camera (like his series of ridiculous contortions to get the magazine shoved down his pants weren't a dead giveaway!).   Obviously, the camera was for show, as he staggered out of the store bowlegged with not a single drug store cop at his heels.  But, like I said....a lot of work for a $5.00 magazine. 

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Frosty Returns
heraldsun.au
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Frosty Kidnapped…Partys Hard…Returns Home

Sad:  Somebody stole an inflatable Frosty the Snowman from a family's front yard. Awesome:  The captors show Frosty a good time, document the whole thing, and return him two weeks later...

According to the (Melbourne, Australia) Herald Sun, a beloved Christmas decoration was returned to his family yesterday bearing the signs of two weeks of heavy partying.

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nurse
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Guys, I Know This May Sound Like Fun, But Don’t Take Penis Shots From Random Women!

Men, your penis has a lot of daily functions. But one of them should not be experimental pin cushion for some chick you just met. I know it may sound fun or exciting, but its not. It may even kill you!

Kasia Rivera of New Jersey administered silicon injections into a 22-year-old man's penis at a "pumping party" (Whatever the hell that is) in May

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drunk guy
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Dumbass of the Day: Drunk Guy Crashes Into DWI Command Center

21-year-old Douglas Shane Southard of Newton, North Carolina, is in the hospital and facing multiple charges after he crashed his red 1989 Camaro into another vehicle that was stopped on the side of the highway while allegedly drunk

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handcuffs
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What’s Locked Up, Handcuffed, and Really Sucks?

Monday in Montgomery County, Texas, Tina Marie Arie and Howard Windham were arrested on drug charges at a Whataburger after a male acquaintance passed out from Hydrocodone that Arie admitted giving him.

The two were put into the back of a police car, but the driver soon noticed that he couldn't see Arie. He says he pulled ov

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trailer park
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Redneck Cousins Make Lousy Lovers…

This a story that we hear all to often...boy meets girl, boy tries to pick up girl, girl becomes irate when boy tries to make her a booty call and then girl stabs boy with a pair of scissors. This is an age old tale

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from شبكة برق | B.R.Q via Flickr
from شبكة برق | B.R.Q via Flickr
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Gaddafi on Ice: Coming to a City Near You? [VIDEO]

You may have heard last week that Muammar Gaddafi was killed. There have been conflicting stories about how it happened (some say he was executed, some say it was planned strike, but who really cares? The point is he's dead.)

So while the Libyans figure out what to do with his remains, they have his blood-streaked body  on display in a c

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MCDLEIN EC030
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This Has To Be The Crappiest Idea To Make Money EVER!

People have been telling me for years that I was insane because I wanted to make my living in radio. It may have been dumb from a financial perspective because the pay sucks, but I love my job and wouldn't trade it for the world

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pothead
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Pot and Criminals Do NOT Mix…[VIDEO]

According to a new survey, 50% of the country feels that marijuana should be legal, and I used to be on that band wagon. But, this is the reason pot won't be legal for a LONG time...it turns people into complete F*#king idiots

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NBC
NBC
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Drunk Dad Made Nine-Year-Old Daughter His Designated Driver [VIDEO]

When 39-year-old Shawn Weimer of Michigan decided he was too drunk to drive, he was just being a responsible adult. But when he appointed his nine-year-old daughter as his designated driver, not so much.

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