Bling H2O — Water for Douchebags
I’ve been known to blow my money on extremely ridiculous items. I’ve blown money on everything from a $200 video game package to renting out the Champagne Room at the local for an hour or two, but there is no way in HELL I can justify spending $2,600 on a bottle of water.
Is there anything special or mystical about this water? No. The company even admits that it is the same water you can get from Cracker Barrel for $2.49. So, what makes this water so special? Well, it’s a 750mL bottle of water that is hand encrusted with 10-thousand Swarovski crystals. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, it comes with a display case and a pair of white gloves.
The company says it “isn’t selling a bottle of water, it’s selling a lifestyle.” I say they are a bunch of jackasses trying to hit pay dirt by exploiting Americans need to live a lavish lifestyle. But, if they can find some sucker to buy this crap more power to them. I just know it isn’t going to be me.
If I’m investing twenty-six hundred bucks on something shiny, I’m buying a Vajazzled hooker named Sparkle. To me, she looks way better than a bottle of water ever could and she’d be a lot more useful.