Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
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What’s Wrong With the Xbox One, In Meme Form
Microsoft unveiled their new gaming console yesterday, and people were not impressed. Actually, they were pretty complain-y and grumpy about it. They don't like the name (Xbox One). They don't like all the features. They don't like any of it. (Particularly how the Microsoft folks pretty much just talked about TV the whole time.) They genuinely dislike it so much that they took the time to make memes about it. These really capture the gist of the problems people have with Xbox One.
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Zombies Demonstrate Parkour Skills in ‘The Flipping Dead’
We would all be so boned if zombies could actually do this stuff. Or, you know, if they actually existed at all. But especially if they existed AND had mad parkour skills.
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Morning News Anchor Pulls ‘Anchorman’-Style Prompter Prank
One Today Show reporter in Australia had a real Ron Burgundy moment. It seems Roz Kelly will also read anything that's on the teleprompter. Fortunately, her co-anchor Karl Stefanovic didn't put an F-bomb in there like Veronica Corningstone, but he did get her to imply that she enjoys the "cookies" in Amsterdam.
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‘Textastrophe’ Pranks People Who Publicly Display Their Phone Number
Have you ever seen somebody share their phone number publicly (on Craigslist maybe, or one of those homemade ads for "computer lessons" on the subway) and thought to yourself "I should totally prank this guy"? You haven't? Oh, uh ... neither have we. Ever. Clearly -- we're not monsters. But the person behind Textastrophe is!
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Starbucks Employee Thought Lady’s Name Was Vagina
You know what they say -- when in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in Hong Kong, get called "Vagina" at a Starbucks.* That must be how that saying goes, because that's exactly what happened to a woman named Virginia who was visiting Hong Kong recently, and she wasn't too happy about it.
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19 Fails That Probably Cost Someone Their Job
Listen, we get it. Of all people, we get it. Sometimes you let an errant comma slip. Maybe you don't notice that something is a sentence fragment because you're riding the waves of hangover nausea. We understand that sometimes being an editor is rough, but how the how do you wind up with a headline that looks like it says "Rapefruit Good for every meal"?
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Metal Version of Aqua’s ‘Barbie Girl’ Surprisingly Rocks
This is the perfect way to relive those golden years back in the '90s before you hardened your heart and started listening exclusively to death metal. It's a metal guitar version of your 12-year-old self's favorite song -- 'Barbie Girl' by Scandinavian dance-pop group Aqua.
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Mystery Creature Washes Ashore in Wales
Peter Bailey, 27, was taking his dog for her evening walk along the beach in Tenby, Wales, when he came across this unusual sight. He snapped some pictures of it, because he had no idea what it is, and now it has earned the name The Beast of Tenby.
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Here’s a GIF of One Direction’s Harry Styles Getting Hit in the Crotch With a Shoe
Okay, so maybe that's not the most graceful headline. But you didn't come here for grace. You came here to see that one guy from One Direction get hit in the junk with a shoe. Over and over again. You won't be disappointed. (Check out the video above.)
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YouTube Hair Tutorial Goes Terribly Wrong
Hopefully anybody who's tempted to watch this for actual advice watches all the way through first, rather than just follow along.
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10 Dumb Tweets About Kurt Cobain for His Birthday
Ugh, come on people. Kurt Cobain is trending pretty hard on Twitter today, since it's his birthday, but we doubt the authenticity of some of these "fans." Here are some dumb, dumb tweets dedicated to Cobain on his birthday. (We left out the twenty gazillion tweets of the quote "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are," because it's depressing how people aren't picking up on the irony.)
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Meet Jesse Heiman, the Go Daddy Nerd Who Got to Kiss Bar Refaeli
If the guy swapping spit with Bar Refaeli in that GoDaddy Super Bowl commercial looked familiar, it's because you've seen him before. Dozens of times. His name is Jesse Heiman, and he plays a nerd in basically everything.