5 Reasons Scre4m Will Suck [VIDEO]

We've all seen some iteration of the Scream franchise of movies.  And I know that Wes Craven is an über genius when it comes to scary movies...but I've got 5 reasons this horror dog just don't hunt.

Reason 1: The fat black guy from Harold and Kumar is in it.
Reason 2: Anna Paquin (Trueblood babe), Kristen Bell (Gossip Girl Hottie), Shenae Grimes (Degrassi), and Hayden Panettiere (Stu's personal spank bank hottie) are ALL in this movie along with Neve Campbell AND Heather Graham and not one of them goes topless/naked.  What a jip.
Reason 3: If some nutball called my wife and said, "You should be running", my wife would politely ask him to hold while she retrieved her pistol, then she would invite him to bring his knife and his happy ass on over.
Reason 4: The first 10 minutes does NOT include the immediate killing of David Arquette and Courtney Cox.
Reason 5:  Models, and teenie pop stars OH MY!  Nothing against their "art" but they can't act for crap.

Video from Youtube user: trailers